5 Things to Do to Get Out of a Toxic Relationships
How to get out of a toxic relationship
1. Trust your instincts. It can be very helpful to get advise from other people and hear other perspectives. However, nobody knows your relationship or your partner like you do. If you are in a relationship where there is domestic violence , leaving the relationship can be the most dangerous time you will face.
2. Seek help and have a plan . You are not in this alone and there are people who have helped hundeds of others get out of similar situations. If the relationship was violent, there are shelters that offer free housing, food, care for your children, transportation, job assistance, and legal help. Educate yourself and develop a plan like the plans described at https://www.thehotline.org/help/path-to-safety/ Domestic violence is a crime. You did not cause the abuse by doing or not doing something and it is not your fault. Domestic violence is a crime and can result in jail time as well as a year of court ordered domestic violence classes. See www.onlinedomesticviolenceclasses.com for more informations on getting free from domestic violence.
3. Look at the breakup the same way an addict looks at getting free from alcohol . You have to focus on getting through one day at a time. Anytime your thoughts shift to the past or the future reel them back in by telling your brain “I deserve a happy life and I choose to focus on being happy today.” An addict does not return to alcohol because it is good for their body or good for their future. They return to alcohol simply because they are addicted. You can only get over a relationship if you choose to get free. You hold the keys to your happy, healthy future!
4. Realize it’s normal to like them and miss them . Most toxic relationships are not toxic every minute. They may also be the person you are used to turning to for comfort or for companionship. Allow yourself to feel those positive emotions. But also remember the very reason an alcoholic goes back out drinking the day after he gets a DUI is because his brain idealizes the good parts of alcohol even though it is destroying his body and the course of his future. There is good in every relationship. But when the bad outweighs the good or risks your physical or emotional mental health it’s just not worth it!
5. Discover a list of things that make you smile and make you feel alive. There is nothing like a toxic relationship to suck the fun out of life. Going through your list of activities that make you happy each day helps your brain to stay focused on the present and not looking in the rear view mirror of your life. Getting out of a toxic relationship can sometimes be the easiest part. Staying out of that relationship and not going back is the hardest part! Go through and do your happy list every single day to celebrate your new life and to help your brain draw a line between the past and the present.